Not my cup of C
by Schizo-of-Destiny
Summary: Prequel to 'Just a little loving'. Vexen seems to be down after a fight he had with Marluxia over a broken coffee machine. Xigbar intends to cheer him up. What will he do, and will he succeed? Contains shounenai.
1. Chapter 1: The fight

**Warning: **contains shounen-ai and swearing. No like, no read.

The very wanted prequel to my one-shot 'Just a little loving'!  
A lot of people asked me what the bra incident was and said that I should write it out. I had many lovely reviews from you all and that inspired me to give this a shot. :D  
I hope you will enjoy this story as much as the one-shot. :)

This is dedicated to all the people who reviewed 'Just a little loving'. Thank you very much, everyone!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters. They all belong to their respective owner. I'm also not making any profit with this story.

Enjoy!

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Chapter 1: The fight

"Quit whining over the coffee machine, Vexen! I already told you a million times to get off of that coffee addiction of yours, it's not good for you!"

"Stop being so damn cranky and just help me instead of being an ass, Marluxia!"

"Oh, so now I'm the cranky one? Have you heard yourself?"

-

Axel stretches himself, having just woken up. 'Such a noisy morning…'

He's on the way to the shower, wearing nothing but a sexy black bathrobe with flame print on the bottom.

On his way to the bathroom, he passes a very tired Saix.

"Are they at it again?" the luna diviner mutters, obviously irritated.

The redhead nods. "Yeah. Coffee machine broke down again, you know how it goes."

"…whatever, I'm going to bed."

Axel watches him walk off and sighed.

'Saix really needs to quit that habit of pulling allnighters… It's not good for his mood.'

He reached the bathroom and put his hand on the doorknob, about to open it. Until he suddenly found the other end of a gun pressed against his nose.

"Who broke it?!" Xigbar practically roars in his face, "Who did it, Axel, was it you?"

Axel shakes his head: "You're looking at the wrong Nobody, Xigbar. I ain't done nothing, now get that gun out of my face!"

Xigbar sighs and lowers his rifle, then he eyes Axel suspiciously. "Did you see who did it?"

The redhead shrugs.

"Nope, I haven't seen anything. I think it happened before I woke up."

"Alright… but as soon as you find out anything at all, you better tell me."

Axel grins nervously: "I will, I will!" ('Damn, that was close!!')

Xigbar continues his hunt for the one who broke his precious coffee machine. He passes Marluxia's appartment and raises an eyebrow at the noise in there.

"I've had enough of this! Get out, now!"

"You can't kick me out! I'm leaving!!"

Vexen angrily stomps out of the appartment and slams the door behind him. He growls in frustration and turns around to head for the bathroom, but he stops in his track when he sees trigger-happy Xigbar.

"Lack of coffee got you in trouble too, eh?" Xigbar says, sympathising with his companion in misfortune.

Vexen nods, sighing softly.

Xigbar pats him on the shoulder. "I have an idea, let's go out to get some coffee at Naminé's, down the street."

That seems to cheer the man up, he looks like he already feels better.

-

"Welcome to Naminé's Coffee Parlor! How may I help you?" a kind waitress greets the two men.

Xigbar politely smiles at the waitress. "Two coffee please."

"To go?"

"No, we're having it here."

The waitress nods: "Very well. Take a seat, I'll bring it to you when it's ready. Would you like anything else to go with your coffee, like a cookie or a biscuit?"

"One of those special chocolate chip cookies would be nice," Xigbar tells her.

Vexen already took a seat at one of the tables for two.

He looks out the window and sighs softly. He's still feeling bad, and it's not just because of the coffee.

Xigbar joins him at his table a few moments later. "Coffee's coming up, they'll bring it to our table when it's ready."

"Fine…"

The man immediately notices the sad tone in Vexen's voice.

"Are you feeling okay? You don't seem like yourself today, Vexen," he notes.

"Whatever."

Xigbar narrows his eyes a little.

"It's not just the coffee, is it?" he says, "there's something else."

Vexen sighs, he actually isn't feeling like spilling the beans to Xigbar.

"Yes, but it's not your business," he mutters.

The waitress brings the two men what they ordered and then leaves them alone again.

Xigbar takes his cup of coffee and takes a sip, he smiles contently. He sure loves his cup of coffee in the morning.

Vexen drops two lumps of sugar in his coffee and starts stirring it with his spoon, staring at the dark fluid absently.

Xigbar glances at the Chilly Academic from the corner of his eye, he puts his cup down and gives him a sneaky grin. "It's Marluxia, isn't it?"

"I told you it's not your business!" Vexen exclaims, his face all flustered from embarrassment.

"So it is. I knew it."

Vexen shakes his head. "It's not."

Xigbar keeps on grinning at him.

"Is too," he counters, "is too!"

"Is not!"

"You are so in denial."

"One more word from you and I'll stuff this teaspoon in your nose!"

The Freeshooter chuckles, he's amused. He doesn't have any bad intentions though.

Vexen sips some coffee and mutters: "…maybe it is. But I'm not saying anything more!"

"Fine. It's your life."

-

The two stay at the parlor for a little longer to drink up the rest of their coffee. Afterwards, they return to their appartment complex.

"I'm going back to my research," mumbles Vexen, before turning into a different direction than Xigbar.

"One thing, Vexen," the Freeshooter says, "it is said that the more you fight, the better you'll get along. So who knows."

"Don't get your hopes up, Xigbar."

And with that, Vexen disappears around the corner. Xigbar shrugs and heads back to his own appartment to get some breakfast and to polish his prized sniper rifle.

Vexen closes the door of his own appartment and sighs, walking over to his desk.

'If only Xigbar knew… The more you fight, the more you get along, eh? Not this time…'


	2. Chapter 2: To confide in a friend

**Warning:** Contains shounen-ai and swearing. No like, no read. 

I liked writing this chapter. I hope you will like reading it. :D  
Before writing the disclaimer and putting down the chappie, I'd like to give out a big thanks to my first reviewer: jazzy-jazz-kat!  
This chappie is dedicated to you, for being the first reviewer of this story. :) Thanks a lot!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts 2 or any of its characters, nor do I own Tom & Jerry, M&M's, Pringles and Pepsi. Everything belongs to their own respective owners. I don't make any profit with this story either.

Enjoy, everyone!

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Chapter 2: To confide in a friend

It's been quite a while since it has been like this: all the members of Organization XIII breaking apart to go and live their own lives. Most of them decided to go live in the appartment complex at Twilight Town. All except Xemnas, Roxas, Lexaeus and Xaldin live in the large building.

Xemnas seemed to have vanished after the disbanding of the organization, none of his former subordinates know where he might be now. Not even Saix, who used to be most fond of his leader.

Roxas moved to Destiny islands to start a new life with Sora and his friends. Him and Axel write letters to each other frequently.

Lexaeus and Xaldin went on a journey together to find their true selves. An artistic journey in which Marluxia would've loved to join them, but instead chose to stay with the rest of the former members of the Organization, because he claimed that they needed a leader.

Of course, no one takes his leadership seriously anymore ever since the Castle Oblivion incident. He screwed up big time after all.

There is but one person who is willing to take him seriously, and that would be Vexen. Every time there is a problem in the complex, he turns to Marluxia for assistance.

But because things have changed, there have only been minor problems in the complex.

No more "Sir, Sora is in the castle and moving up!", but instead it has been "The coffee machine is broken, Marluxia!", "Zexion's tv is too loud again, Marluxia!", "Someone plugged the toilets, Marluxia!" and the worst of them all, "The flower garden is a mess again, Marluxia!"

Yep, Vexen sure seemed to be needy. Sometimes it would drive Marluxia totally out of his mind, like this morning.

'I can't even wake up in peace without him knocking at my door again about something minor and irrelevant that he could easily fix by himself. Is he nostalgic or something?' the Graceful Assassin tends to wonder, 'I know I am, every now and then… It was good to be the Lord of a castle… Much better than being the 'Lord' of an appartment complex.'

Marluxia sighs and puts his newspaper down, drinking a small cup of tea with his breakfast.

'Can't have it all, I guess…'

His quiet breakfast is disturbed by some noise on the hallway.

"Turn down the volume, Zexion!!"

"How about you turn down yours!!"

A vein pops up on the forehead of the pinkhaired man. He gets up and opens his door: "Would you people quit shouting? It's still morning, and I like my mornings quiet."

Zexion opens his door too and grins.

"Your breakfast smells nice, Marluxia. Can I have some?" he asks teasingly.

"This is not about my breakfast."

Vexen is standing between them, looking from one to another. He decides to just give up and walks away. Feeling defeated.

Demyx pops up from behind Zexion. "Good morning, Marly!"

"My name is not Marly…" the Graceful Assassin growls warningly.

"Sorry, Marly. But I'll be going out to get some groceries soon. Is there anything you need?"

That brightens Marluxia's mood a little, he smiles kindly.

"Well, I think I could use some more fabric softner," he says, "you know, the pink bottle with the rose print on it?"

Demyx smiles back: "Sure."

Then he disappears back into Zexion's room again.

While Vexen walks back to his room, he runs into Larxene. The only woman in the complex.

"Good morning, Vexen," she greets him cheerfully.

Vexen sighs: "Yeah, good morning…"

Larxene fails to notice the sarcastic tone in Vexen's voice and just walks on. She greets the Gracefully Assassin as well.

"Good morning, Marluxia! Nice weather today, isn't it. Feel like going shopping?"

"Oh, sure!" he exclaims happily, having totally forgotten about his bad mood, "I really need some new pants. I only have some jeans left, and they're not suitable for this weather. I'll sweat my legs off! When are you going out?"

Vexen twitches. He stops walking and peeks around the corner, watching Larxene and Marluxia talk.

The Savage Nymph shrugs: "I don't know. Maybe in about an hour? The shops will all be open by then."

Marluxia smiles and nods, then he points back at his room.

"I'll freshen up then, I'll meet you in an hour."

And with that, he vanishes back into his room.

Vexen growls. His mood was bad enough already, this only made it worse.

The Chilly Academic retreats to his room again and continues with his research.

What used to be his job is now more of a hobby to him. He likes to search for new knowledge and look up information on all kinds of things, but what he would actually really want is to be a painter. Marluxia already inspired him multiple times.

On the wall, Vexen pinned a lot of sketches. Most of them feature animals, like arctic wolves or lions, but there are some works that are entirely different from those drawings.

In his desk, in a drawer with a lock on it, Vexen has hidden his secret sketchbook in which he loves to sketch Marluxia over and over again. He drew the man in a lot of different situations already: in the shower, in his beloved flower garden, on horseback, and so on.

Vexen sighs: "I think I'm having an artblock…"

Suddenly, the sound of gunfire sounds through the complex and a couple of holes appear in Vexen's wall, the bullets that made the holes only barely missed his drawings.

"What the heck?? Why can't I ever have a normal day like everybody else?!" he angrily exclaims. He gets up and stomps out again, straight towards Xigbar's.

The Freeshooter is working on his guns. 'Geesh, how could I ever forget the safety catch?'

He nearly drops the rifle he's holding when his door is slammed open.

"Shoot my wall again and you're dead!" Vexen roars at him, "you're really asking for it!"

Xigbar frowns: "I didn't do it on purpose, you know. No need to nag on me. I didn't break anything, did I?"

Vexen is about to counter, but then he sighs, giving up again. He walks into the room and flops down on a chair, like he does more often when he's at Xigbar's room.

Xigbar sighs, he can't really blame his friend. He picks up his rifle, turns on the safety catch for sure this time and takes place on the chair next to his.

"Sorry, man…"

"It's okay, Xigbar. You didn't wreck anything, I guess I overreacted."

"Want some M&M's?"

"Yeah, sure."

-

And so, the two Nobodies enjoy some M&M's in front of the tv. They're just watching some cartoons for entertainment. Xigbar sniggers at a funny Tom & Jerry cartoon, causing him to almost choke on an M&M.

Vexen sniggers too and pats his back: "Choke carefully."

Xigbar regains his regular breath and smiles nervously.

"Gee, thanks…"

He shamelessly tosses another M&M up in the air and catches it in his mouth, afterwards turning his attention back to the tv.

Vexen grabs some Pringles and is just about to tear open the bag when he hears his housemates talk on the hallway.

"Will we be having lunch in the city centre today as well, Larxene?"

"Sure, but it's your treat this time, Marluxia."

"Okay! Let me get an extra shirt in case I spill all over myself like last time."

Xigbar bursts into laughter because of the hilarious cartoon on tv, he turns to Vexen to talk about it, but quickly swallows his words when he sees the other's facial expression.

Vexen not only tears open the bag, he rips pieces off of it with his teeth out of frustration.

Xigbar takes the bag from him: "What did that bag ever do to you?"

The Chilly Academic sighs softly and turns away, he doesn't really want to talk about what he really feels right now.

He just crosses his arms and tries to keep a straight face. But that's not so easy when Tom and Jerry are on tv. Soon he finds himself chuckling again at something silly that the ever popular cat and mouse are up to.

Xigbar smiles sort of sadly.

"You can trust me, you know. I really think it'd be better if you talked about it," he says.

Vexen takes the bag of Pringles from Xigbar and sighs, munching on a chip.

"Alright… if you really want to know that badly…"

The Chilly Academic sighs again and starts with his story. "It all started at Castle Oblivion, I guess. You heard the tales. Marluxia was a Nobody who had lots of power there, as the lord of the castle. We all had to do exactly as he said, even if he was in a possible conspiracy. We didn't get along back then at all, you know that much. But then Sora came along, taking care of the Organization… A fate we kind of deserved, I guess, for doing what we did."

Xigbar nods understandingly and sips some Pepsi from a can. Vexen continues.

"Soon we all ended up moving in here, starting a new life. I guess it was at that point, when I started to see the real Marluxia… what he's like in a relaxed state… that I slowly started to take a liking to him. Know what I mean?"

Xigbar smiles, he likes where this story is going.

"Yes. Continue?" he asks, clearly curious about the other half of the story.

Vexen sighs softly: "Well, that's where the problem lies. I don't think Marluxia likes me as much as I like him. In fact, I think he's straight. I have the sneaking suspicion that him and Larxene are dating. I mean, they go shopping all the time, and he keeps shouting my head off! Gah!!"

The Chilly Academic seems to have lost his chill at last. The Nobody rests his head on his hands and his elbows on his knees.

"It drives me mad," he growls, "I confide in him as a leader and all he does is shove me off. And on top of that, he's dating that crazy woman!"

Xigbar frowns, he doesn't like seeing his friend like this, he puts his Pepsi can down and takes a typical thinking pose.

"Yeah… If you really want to be together with him, then Larxene would be a problem… along with the fact that he's straight…" he mumbles, thinking some more.

Vexen shakes his head: "I tried to think of a solution, but I couldn't. Not one single stupid book I read has the answer."

Xigbar thinks a little more, then he grins.

"Wait a second… I think I have an idea."

"Sure, but will it work?"

"Just leave everything to me."

The Freeshooter eagerly rubs his hands together. He's going to have a lot of fun working out this particular idea…


	3. Chapter 3: Xigbar's plan

Finally, the third chapter is up! I was on vacation, so I couldn't finish it earlier, sorry!  
Thank you again for your review, jazzy-jazz-kat! I hope you didn't have to wait too long for this chappie. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts 2 or any of it's characters, that all belongs to their own respective owners.

**Warning: **this contains swearing and shounen-ai. No like, no read.

----------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3: Xigbar's plan

Some time later, a little after noon, Xigbar goes out to collect the necessary items for his idea. While Vexen is just in his own appartment, taking care of his own things, Xigbar silently makes his way over to Larxene's appartment.

In front of the door, Xigbar looks around carefully if no one else is around to catch him, then he takes out a deformed paperclip and starts picking the lock.

As the former Organization's number 2, he is a Nobody of many talents.

When he hears the lock clicking open, Xigbar sneaks into the room and quietly closes the door again.

'Fase one completed, moving on to fase two,' he thinks to himself, grinning in a naughty way.

Xigbar turns around and switches the lights on, then he gasps: "Holy..!!"

Larxene's room is a girl's paradise alright. Even though you wouldn't expect it from her, her appartment has quite some fluffy white and pink things in it.

A fluffy white carpet, nice clean pink sheets on the bed, a soft-pink colored vanity with a mirror on it, and furniture with a similar color. There are also a couple of posters on the wall with boy bands on them.

Xigbar pulls a face at them, then he heads straight for his goal. The clothing cupboard.

With a wide grin on his face, he starts to open the drawers one by one. Looking through everything that's inside.

'I always wanted to do this once,' he thinks, sniggering to himself as he starts examining the contents of the uppermost drawer, the underwear drawer. 'Now to decide which one I'll take.'

Larxene seems to have collected a large stack of underwear over the time that she has been.(1)

Xigbar gets wide eyed at it all: "All these different colors and sizes..!!"

He picks up three bras and looks at them all, comparing them.

"Black..? Or white..? Or pink, perhaps? Marluxia does love that color…"

The Freeshooter walks over to the mirror and holds the pink one in front of himself, he smiles at his reflection. "Ooooh, fetching!"

"Xigbar!!!"

In shock, the man drops the pink bra he was holding and turns around rapidly.

"Holy Dusk! Larxene!" he exclaims.

Larxene is standing in the doorway, with her yellow thunder knives in her hand. "What are you doing with my underwear?!"

Xigbar grins nervously and lifts his hands up in the air.

"N-nothing!" he stutters, "What would I need your underwear for?"

Larxene threateningly steps in Xigbar's direction. "Get. Out."

Xigbar looks from approaching Larxene to her underwear drawer and back, then he grabs a handful of underwear and rushes towards the doorway.

"Get back here!!" the Savage Nymph shrieks at him, chasing after him.

The Freeshooter runs for his life as the yellow knives come soaring by, only inches from his head. "Oh shit!"

He quickly runs into Vexen's appartment and leans against the door, breathing heavily and still having wide eyes.

Vexen startedly drops his pencil and covers his paper: "Xigbar?!"

"She wants to kill me!" Xigbar hisses at Vexen, silently begging to keep his presence quiet.

Larxene knocks on Vexen's door: "Vexen! Have you seen Xigbar? He ran in the direction of your appartment and I want a word with him, right now!"

Vexen gulps, he nods at Xigbar and gestures towards his bathroom, silently telling the Freeshooter that he can hide in there.

The Chilly Academic opens the door and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry, Larxene, I haven't seen him since this morning," he says with a neutral expression on his face, which is hard to muster because Larxene looks really scary when she's angry.

Larxene huffs, then she stomps off to go find him elsewhere. "Xigbar!! Come out and face me like a man!!"

Vexen closes the door and locks it, sighing softly. Then he turns to his bathroom.

"You can come out now, Xigbar," he says, "she's gone."

Xigbar comes out and sighs softly as well from relief, his arms still full of underwear.

"You have no idea how grateful I am, Vexen."

"…why do you have ladies' underwear with you, Xigbar?" the Chilly Academic asks, noticing the pile of personals all of a sudden and raising an eyebrow at it.

The Freeshooter grins: "Sit down and I'll tell you everything."

-

"You want me to do what??" Vexen exclaims in shock, his face red from embarrassment after hearing about Xigbar's 'brilliant' plan.

Xigbar grins: "You heard me, Vexen."

"But Xigbar, I'm a man! I can't do that!"

"Of course you can! There are plenty of other men doing the same! Come on, it's not that hard to dress up as a woman. You already look feminine enough."

Vexen growls and shakes his fist at Xigbar: "Maybe I should let Larxene know where you are…"

"No, please no!" Xigbar exclaims, "listen, I'm only trying to help you. Since Marluxia is straight, he'll only go after women. So if you want him to go after you, then you need to become a woman as well. And prettier than Larxene as well. I'm sure we can figure out a way."

The Chilly Academic sighs.

"I don't believe this… Alright, Xigbar, tell me more about your plan."

Xigbar grins, he sits down on a chair and folds his hands together, like a criminal mastermind who's pondering over his latest evil masterplan.

"My plan goes somewhat like this: in the time to come, we will study women as closely as possible to see how they behave. You will try to adjust yourself to this kind of behaviour so Marluxia won't find out who you really are. You will buy women's clothes and wear them as well. And you'll have to learn how to master the art of make-up," Xigbar tells the man, grinning almost evilly.

Vexen covers his head with his hand: "It should be very well possible for me to do… but still..!! To go through all that for the love of one man..!"

"This is not the worst love can make one do, there are worse things," Xigbar states, "I say we start to work out my plan tomorrow, at the mall. To study the behaviour of women and teenage girls alike."

"Joy…"

"Oh come on, Vexen. You might even like it! The life of a women is totally different from a man. It's new, it's exciting! It's sexy."

"You are a very hateful man, Xigbar."

"I love you too, Vexen."

-

Next day, Vexen and Xigbar go to the mall together. First they have some coffee at Naminé's again, afterwards they head towards a clothing store.

"And why are we here again?" Vexen mumbles.

Xigbar grins: "Because women love clothes. Look!"

Nearby, two girls are comparing t-shirts and giggling about them, saying things about the print and deciding whether to buy or not to buy.

Vexen just looks at them weirdly, he doesn't really understand their behaviour.

'Why all that monkey business over a couple of t-shirts?'

Xigbar taps Vexen on his shoulder and points at some other women. They are standing at the underwear section of the clothing store. It appears that they're carefully selecting bras for themselves.

One of the women turns to the other: "You think he'll like this one?"

"Oh yes," the other woman exclaims, "if he don't fall for you wearing that, he's a blind man!"

Both smile.

"Women always buy clothes together, there are almost no exceptions," Xigbar whispers to Vexen. The Chilly Academic nods, making notes.

After observing women at the clothing store, it's the lunchroom next.

Xigbar points at the buffet: "Look. See that nervous girl over there, she probably won't eat very much of this food."

"Why not? She's hungry, isn't she?" Vexen asks.

"Of course she is, but a lot of girls are very unsure about their looks. Looks are important. Woman often associate beautiful with 'thin', and a lot of them think they are too fat. Therefore a lot of them never eat the fill they actually need."

"..that's actually quite sad. That nervous girl could really use some more food. She's skinny as she is."

"Ah, well… no one ever said the life of a woman is easy," Xigbar sighs.

Vexen nods, making notes again.

Some minutes later, the two men get hungry from observing the lunch behaviour of other people, so they get themselves some lunch as well.

-

Later in the afternoon, when Xigbar and Vexen get home, they go through their notes again.

"Women never shop alone and believe that looking good is one of the most important things in life, looking good is often associated with being slim, this often results in not eating enough. This is one of the things that make woman unhappy, and sometimes cranky," Vexen reads out loud, looking proudly at the information he collected today.

Xigbar grins: "Well done, friend. I think we've done enough for now. Let's get some rest and start with the next step tomorrow: dressing like a woman. You took a good look at their clothes too today, right?"

Vexen nods.

"I did. The single women often wear clothes that are 'sexier' than women that are already in a good relationship with someone. Teenage girls tend to wear very revealing clothes that seem almost too tight at some points… do I have to wear that too?"

"Nah, we can always make you into a girl with a different attitude," Xigbar comforts his friend, "oh… uhm… can I sleep here? I'm scared to sleep alone with angry Larxene on the loose."

"Heheheh, okay. But if you snore, you're out."

"Deal."

-------------------------------------------------

No offense was meant to either men or women with this chappie. Hey, I'm a woman myself!  
(1): Nobodies don't exist, but they still are (in some way).

Next chappie might take longer because school started again. But that might also be the very reason why it could go faster, who knows.  
See you all in the next chapter!


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